recovery concepts

Safe People
What Do Safe People Look Like?
Adapted from Henry Cloud & John Townsend's Book
Safe People: How to Find Relationships that are Good for You and Avoid Those that Aren't
#1
Safe People
Admit Their Weaknesses
Instead Of
thinking they have it all together.
#2
Safe People
are real & spiritual
Instead Of
fake & religious.
#3
Safe People
are open to feedback
Instead Of
defensive.
#4
Safe People
are humble
Instead Of
self-righteous.
#5
Safe People
change their behavior
Instead Of
just saying sorry.
#6
Safe People
deal with their problems
Instead Of
avoiding working on them.
#7
Safe People
earn trust
Instead Of
demanding it.
#8
Safe People
admit their faults
Instead Of
believing they are perfect.
#9
Safe People
take responsibility
Instead Of
blaming others.
#10
Safe People
tell the truth
Instead Of
lie.
#11
Safe People
are growing
Instead Of
stagnant.
#12
Safe People
connect
Instead Of
avoiding closeness.
#13
Safe People
are concerned about "we"
Instead Of
only "I".
#14
Safe People
encourage freedom
Instead Of
resist it.
#15
Safe People
confront us
Instead Of
flatter us.
#16
Safe People
forgive us
Instead Of
condemning us.
#17
Safe People
relate as equals
Instead Of
staying in parent/child roles.
#18
Safe People
are consistent
Instead Of
unstable over time.
#19
Safe People
are a positive influence on us
Instead Of
a negative one.
#20
Safe People
keep secrets
Instead Of
gossiping.

Quotes from henry cloud & john Townsend's book
SAFE PEOPLE: HOW TO FIND RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE GOOD FOR YOU AND AVOID THOSE THAT AREN'T

Empathy

"If unsafe people are self-centered, safe people are relationship-centered.... Safe people are empathic and they act on their empathy. "

separateness & growth

"Love protects the separateness of the other.... Your closest relationships are, at all times, actively working either for or against your growth."

"Safety breeds safety"

"Ask yourself...as a result of spending time with this person, am I...
More loving or more detached?
More honest or more compliant?
More forgiving or more idealistic?
More mutual or more childish?"